Tennis on Purple Grass, by H.T.

 The world of tennis has been shaken to its foundations by the rumour that the grass at Wimbledon Centre Court is about to be replaced by a genetically modified form of grass that which is not green but purple. This is said to be as a result of a sponsorship agreement with the tennis enthusiast Sheik Othman abu Din; purple being the national colour of his oil-rich state. 

   The Sheik first played tennis during his years at Eton, following which he was national champion of his state every year for the next fifteen years, though he was somewhat less successful when competing abroad. He was excluded from the Australian Open following allegations that he had attempted to bribe an umpire, though nothing was ever proved; and following this he contented himself with being a lavish sponsor of the sport.

   A spokesman for the Lawn Tennis Federation, when asked to clarift the position, would not either confirm or deny the rumours concerning the purple grass, but praised the great generosity of the Sheik.

   The public is eagerly awaiting future developments.

                                 (Dateline: Wimbledon: 1/4/2021)

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