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Sunday 16 December 2018

Feedback, by David Bingham

I have a problem: I act too readily in response to the advice people give me. So when my tutor said, "James, your work is a bit self-indulgent: why not try writing it in the third person?", 'I' became 'he', as he thought, "She's right, of course". And when she said, "Give your main character a different name", Gustav took over. His left eye twitched when she further suggested he should have a distinctive mannerism.

   Next, wolves howled in the distance and snow piled up against the walls of the cabin, following her remark about the need for an exotic setting; and after hearing her views on developing backstories, it was revealed when he was a boy his father had taught him to use an axe.

   "Finally, you need significant events", she said. "The more dramatic, the better!"
   So Gustav looked down at the pool of blood which oozed from the gaping wound in her head. He didn't regret what he'd done: she had it coming. All that moaning about being stuck out there with only him to talk to! What had she expected: barn dancing? Gustav dragged her body out into the blizzard and left it deep in the forest.

Then he returned to his cabin, took out his recently-purchased Surface Pro4 and typed, "It's a hot summer's day here in Wolverhampton and I'm off to Costa to get myself a Frappuchino".

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