Th' Col Year's Teal: a poem in Potteries dialect, by Terry Williams

Th' dee shiftoe werin th' pub, th' nate shiftoe a twom,
Anthem onnooz weroe setdine, fer snappin tarm adcum.
 Yung Alfad polish toffees chaze, anwishy need gotmower,
Woz draineen draimz, thee rin thed ark, ov th'wen choo livd nexdower;    
Wen from thepitch blakov thepit a neery owl run gite,
A figger glued - anuther owl! twoz Alf's tern nah tershite!
"Gerroff!" eeyeld. Iz feece wozwait benee thowth grarm andert.
"Yermus beed after cummindeer injusyer owd nateshert!"

Th'goost justud angeez atAlf, 'ntarm beunterd rag.
Atlas teaspoke - inlung intoonz - "Yerannergorrafag?
"Ah binyneer nah fowty ears, wi' neethet fagsner eel,
"Anwimeen dunner cumdine th'pit. Yerseynah whar ahweel?

"Ma misseseze twoz wotdunmey in, erneva cud mashtay.
"Er lefther sugger ite meef lask - an thaswot peesnt may!"

Yun gAlf beegunter fail rates a ert yon owd col year's platr,
Antwonnwe lung afower eethote awotud put goose trait.
"Ear, averse wigger this", eesed, anchucka crosserd rink.
"Thisl warmyer innerdzup - andooyer gudahth ink!"

Th'goostay finny shtoff therlot, anthen letite asie.
"Bah, tha twerg rand!" thowl goostsed, "Mah throte wozrailly drigh!"
Ayterndiz bacca namble doff interth' dar kergen,
Anoo shudkumfrum saymar cole butyun gulAlf swerkmayt Len.

"Ayjus saynAynok", Len eesez, "Ay luct azwarm aztoost".
"Tha twerner Aynok!" Alfry plied, "Thatwerra col year's goost!"
"Nay, tha twerAynok," anserd Len, "Ayz pleed tha twoonon may,
"Ay skeers yerstif, then swigs yerrum. Tiz owert rick dussay!"

"Buttah cud seyim glue!" sedAlf, "Aranna blahn dowdsun!"
"Accoe say glued, yer greet daftwerp! Eed jus drun coe yerrum!"

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COMPREE YENSHUN

Aser follerin kwes chuns:-

1. Worrad Ay nok bindoo infer fowty ears?
2. Did goost glue afower eedad owt ferd rink?
3. AdAlf seyn coe lammer?
4. AdLen enny chaze feriz snappin?
5. Costel Stoke from buttah?

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(N.B. When I entered this, a message appeared offering to translate it into English! Now that really would be something!)