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Tuesday 18 April 2017

Remorse, by John Garland

"Right, lets get started. Im Bill, youre Arthur, and were having this meeting because you tried to shoot me".

I didnt, said Arthur. It was an accident. I explained that at the trial, but they didnt believe me.

"No surprise surely, was it, sunshine? Because lets face it, youve got form; plenty of form. And I was in my car at the traffic lights, and you were up on the balcony on the block of flats, and you fired your gun at me. And since Id never seen you in my life before, Id like to know why.

It wasnt my gun. Ive never had a gun. Someone left it there, and I picked it up to have a look at it, and it went off

Oh yeah? And youre surprised the jury didnt believe you? If it wasnt your gun, who dyou think might have left it there?

Silence.

Cant say, or wont say?

More silence.

"Look, this isnt going well, is it? This is supposed to be some kind of pilot scheme of crooks talking with their victims. Supposed to do some good. Sounds like a load of trendy rubbish to me, but wed better give it a go now were here. So Ill have my say, then you can have yours: okay?
   "So there I was, sitting in my car at the traffic lights, with the window down because it was hot, when suddenly this bullet comes whistling right past my nose and smashes into the dashboard. Didnt touch me, as it happens, but not a nice experience, though Im not the sort of guy who scares easily. It was a new car, very smart, cost me a packet, and there was a lot of damage. You might say, well, the insurance company paid up and it all got put right; but its not the same again, is it? And then the time I had to waste, signing statements for the police, and giving evidence at your trial, not to mention this talk now. Ive got a pretty important job, and I was working on a really big deal at the time, but I had to hand it over to someone else, and now hell get all the credit for it. Now even if what you says true, and it was an accident, it still caused me all this hassle, which I could have done without.
   "And then, what if the bullet had gone a few inches to the left? Id have been dead, and what then? I dont think Becky, thats my wife, would ever have got over it, because, Id have to say, she idolises me, and so do the kids. And then theres my firm; they place a lot of reliance on me. And it would be a waste, because Im going to achieve big things before Im much older. And all that would have gone, snuffed out; even if your shot was an accident, which personally I dont believe it was. A tragedy.
   "So, Ive had my say. Now you can have yours. Are you sorry for what youve done?"


Yes, said Arthur, Now Ive heard you, I am sorry. Im very sorry that I missed you.

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