All good collections of clerihews feature a silly index, so I've added a short index to five of mine.
When Philip Larkin
was booked for illegal parking
I thought it was pretty bad
that he tried to blame his mum and dad.
John Steinbeck's family Joad
should have taken a different road.
They received only brutal kicks
Travelling on Route 66
At a cricket match, George Orwell
neglected to keep the score well
which earned him a reproof
from the Ministry of Truth.
At Christmas, Jean-Paul Sartre
was invited to visit Chartres
but he preferred to spend the festive saeson
writing "A critique of dialectical reason"
Count Dracula (whose real name was Vlad)
was justly considered quite mad
since he chose to remain here
when he could have returned to Transylvania
Index
Choice, bad:- Joad, Satre
" fatal:- Dracula
Christmas, Bah! Humbug!:- Sartre
Correction, absence of:- Orwell
Excuse, unconvincing:- Larkin, Sartre
Failure:- Orwell
F***ed up:- Larkin
Immigrant, unwelcome:- Dracula
Innumeracy:- Orwell
Jagger, Mick, travel advice of, refuted:- Joad
Taste, deplorable:- Larkin, Sartre
Travel, ill-advised:- Joad, Dracula
" interrupted:- Larkin
" not undertaken:- Sartre
Unreadability:- Sartre
Windows, stained glass, failure to appreciate:- Sartre
Wisden, inclusion in, unsuitability for:- Orwell
